My fourth scan, and the wait between my scan and the results never gets easier. It is always a nervous time!

In the past 3 months, I’ve had more headaches and speech problems than usual even though my body has been feeling good. I’ve been eating well, exercising most days, travelling around and enjoying life. Still living my life 3 months at a time. My scan on Tuesday was a nervous one as always. Waiting with my good friend, Becky James, today at Christie Hospital wasn’t as bad, having a joke, catching up and a good chat. I’ve received a lot of messages and support from everyone on all forms of technology to fill me with good vibes and inspiration.

But besides all this, it was not enough to keep the science of cancer at bay. The oncologist told me that the Tuesdays scans, it looks like the brain tumour has started to grow back. Becky said she thought all day to stay strong, and she did. Becky stayed strong standing next to me while the doctor delivered the news. I think the initial diagnosis and constantly dealing with the issue head on has made me a stronger person. I really don’t know where this strength has come from but I just stood there, thinking, then come out with a list of questions for the doctor. She answered them all the best she could. The scans are below and I will describe what you are look at.

The scans on the left are of a previous scan, from February 2015. You can see the remnants of the tumour and brain surgery on the bottom right of each image.

The scans on the right are the current scans, from Tuesday 26th May 2015. When you look on the bottom right of each of these photos, you can see there are patches of white forming. This is what the doctors believe is the cancer growing back. Im sharing such details so people know what cancer patients go through. How a black and white image can change someones life!

February 2015          |          May 2015

My scans will got to the MDT on Tuesday. The MDT is a Multi Disciplinary Team of several oncologists, neurosurgeons, medical imaging specialists and other medical professionals. They will then go through my case (along with other people’s cases for the week) and get back to me with their final diagnosis. Because of this, my future, my holidays, my life plans, and treatment options are all in limbo until next week.

Keep an eye out for the results next week. This makes is much easier for everyone to know what is going on with my cancer than having to repeat myself over and over which can be a very tiring and emotional drain giving the depth of the conversation. But in saying this, I am very grateful for everybody’s support. I have great family and friends pushing me on, encouraging and supporting my fight against cancer and keeping my spirits high with a smile on my face. I can’t say enough how much this means to me – THANK YOU!!!!!

 Mex – Leadership attributes: positivity (BLOG 3 part 1)

This blog is the third of three in this series on leadership attributes. Please see the first and second blogs if you haven’t already before reading this one.

I once read: You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you’. See the positive in negative events – Joel Osteen.

Michael Jordan once said something similar: Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.

Now there is definitely a difference between being positive just to put on a face (while ignoring your problems and weaknesses); and being positive whilst having dealt with your problems and overcoming them. Being ignorant of your problems and weaknesses could cause them to snowball and get worse. I dealt with each of my injuries and situations arising from my cancer before putting it to the back of my mind then continuing on to enjoy my life.

All this is definitely easier said than done!! Although I have been given a bad diagnosis, it has given me the opportunity to spend more treasured time with my family and friends, help other patients through their troubles, I was able to travel around Europe for 3-4 months and met a lot of great people. But the biggest thing I take away from this negative situation is that by confronting it head on, dealing with the fact that I will probably only have a few years left to live and moving forward with my life, I now approach life with a lot more appreciation, meaningfulness and positivity. After all – In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years – Abraham Lincoln.

Confronting fears and then putting them to the side to continue living is a much more positive approach to life. You let your concern out once in a while to confront them and deal with them, ensuring you don’t just be ignorant of them. But never let them take over the joy and love in your life.

Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good ― Elizabeth Edwards

To cement this ideology, I always come back to a beautiful phrase I have always lived by: Aproveita a Vida – Enjoy Life!

.

Catseye Development – Thank you to Mex! (BLOG 3 part 2)

Over the last month we have all been lucky enough to hear Mex sharing his thoughts and experiences on the leadership attributes of resilience and positivity.  His own demonstration and application of these qualities bear testament to his bravery and the inspiration he provides to others. To do him credit there are a couple of things you can do. Firstly – be even better! Look for day-to-day opportunities to be a leader to those around you.  Secondly, share his story!  Give it some legs so as many people as possible can be inspired.  To find out more about Mex and how to support him then please visit his website www.cancercanwait.com